We all have sexual cravings. They’re kind of like an itch in that naughty place that needs a good, deep scratch! For some of us, finding a partner IRL does the trick. But not all of us are currently boo’d up or have the time or energy to leave the safety of our homes to seek out someone with similar desires. Lucky for us, the digital world allows us access to others who are also yearning for just the right amount of human connection to scratch that relentless itch – if you’re willing to reciprocate, of course!
Who’s up for sexting?
Maybe you already have a sexy friend and would like to take that connection one step further (we’ve got some tips for that!). Or maybe you have an ex-partner (assuming it ended well) that might be willing to go on a virtual sexy adventure with you. It’s also possible to find a sexting partner from aspects of life that are not necessarily sexual – maybe that fellow foodie also wants to talk about delicious chocolate fantasies! But if those scenarios don’t work for you and you are still looking for sexting friends, let’s focus on how to find NEW people who are already interested in sexy chat.
While these places are not specifically sexting friend finders, these places and platforms have an inherently sexy focus that can help you discover your fellow sext adventurer.
Before we get to the list, keep in mind that some of these resources might be overwhelming or feel intimidating at first. Proceed at your own pace and as you feel comfortable. This list is loosely organized to be more sexual as it goes down (because what’s sexier than going down?), but many of these spaces have a large spectrum of content and variety of people accessing it, meaning that with some caution and exploration, you’re likely to find a good match.
A few best practices for finding sexy chat friends…
- Discuss what you want in clear terms. Saying that you’re looking for “sexy chat friends” helps other people who want the same thing to find you.
- Consider geography – you might want to look for someone who lives far away to do some sexting and not meet up. Just remember that time zone matters when you are trying to find shared times for sexy chat.
- Or look for someone local. Though you start with just texting, living/working nearby may provide opportunities for future hookups.
- Many of these spaces cost money to maintain and protect, so be prepared to get out the old credit card.
- There are also skilled pros on many of these sites, so consider if you want to avail yourself to expertise that you pay for. There is also a world of scammers, so be aware.
- Often private groups will have vetting processes to make sure all their members understand how to behave in sexy spaces. Be patient, considerate and careful if you want to have fun in their playground.
Let’s talk dating apps for sexting
The standard dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid, Bumble, Match, Grindr and Her all work, just read members’ profiles and look for people with a sexy attitude. Searching for specific keywords like “sexy chat” and “sexting” can help. Add those keywords to YOUR profile too so people can find you!
Then there’s those SEXY Dating apps
These apps have communities that are more sex-forward or sex-positive, where the clientele is more comfortable jumping right into the racy stuff and enjoy taking things into the adult realm. Many people will post their interests in their profile (it’s okay if you need to google some of the terms!).
Examples include Feeld, KindraConnect, Pure, #Open, SweetSext, SextFriend, KinkD, and Chatzy. Some apps like Feeld will let you search in specific city areas or for people anywhere who want similar things. Others like Pure will tell you how far away a person is, so you can deliberately flirt with people near (or far!) as you wish. Chatzy quickly gets you into a chat room without a long log-in process but will ask you to hang out for 10 minutes before you can start chatting.
The vast world of Reddit
Reddit has everything. You can connect with people in many types of communities, both open and NSFW. Some are specific for writing (like the subreddit r/dirtypenpals), but others are for sharing thoughts and questions – either way, it’s easy to reach out to others or post what you’re looking for. As with all things Reddit, make sure to READ THE RULES. Every subreddit has its own community and practices so make sure you are safe, respectful and paying attention.
Sex-positive community groups
There may be local groups centered around sexuality, sex-positivity, bisexuality, polyamory, etc. SPW (Sex Positive World) or amBI are examples. Find them on the internet and websites like MeetUp. LVRSNFRNDS is an incredible community for discussing sexuality (although please note that this is NOT a dating site – it’s an open-minded private community of friends who like sex).
Fetlife
Fetlife is a community for fetish, bdsm (bondage, domination, sadism and masochism), and lots of other sexuality-based groups. This community is also great for event listings, whether remote or in real life, and geographic searches (i.e., finding like-minded people in your neighborhood).
Swinger / Membership sites for sexy people
Sites like Adult Friend Finder, Swing Lifestyle, Kasadie and Lifestyle Lounge offer a community of sexually adventurous couples. Various sites are more active in different geographic areas of the U.S. or cater to specific communities (we haven’t found the FarmersOnly swing site but comment below if it's out there!). Want to swing in Jamaica? It’s definitely possible at Hedonism II! All of these sites generally cost money, although some may offer a free trial period.
Paid sexting
Sites like SextPanther, NiteFlirt, and Arousr allow you to sext, have video chat or phone calls with someone directly for coins or other onsite currency. Creators (like those on OnlyFans or Chaturbate or a world of other sites) also sometimes sext with fans and subscribers.
Final thoughts
Finding a good sexting partner is a lot about BEING a good sexting partner. That means having consent, listening, acknowledging your partner, and responding to them. (we’d say this is our favorite and by far the best sexting tip out there)
Be SAFE. Be very careful about disclosing personal information (name, mobile number, location, etc.). If you’re sharing photos with a new person, don’t include your face, make sure your environment doesn’t have personal details, make sure your pic metadata is scrubbed or inaccessible. (Read more about sexy photo tips and advice HERE)
One way to ensure your safety is to make sure your sexy chat and photos are on a secure platform where you are in control. Dating sites are great places to meet, but they are not always encrypted. Amorus is an iOS messaging app (with games!) for sexy fun that is encrypted, safe, and you always have control over everything you share.
Only do what is comfortable! If it doesn’t feel good, stop the conversation, end the connection, leave. This is about sharing pleasure.
Be open to new experiences – sexy fun can come in many forms, so don’t try to spell out the experience before you have it. If you’re not sure what to do once you’ve found a sexting buddy, Amorus offers games to help you uncover shared fantasies, spark sexy new convos, or just send that next nude as a jigsaw and make them work a little to get the pic!
